Professor Peelson

Keepsake

A little souvenir of this potato's life.

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Their story

1. grow
   Growing in the Dirt
   An absolute unit. Ballooned to a giant. 2 slugs slain along the way.
2. scenario
   The Great Excavation
   Professor Peelson is suddenly liberated from the dirt by a rusty pitchfork that misses his vital starch by a millimeter. A sweaty farmer with a questionable mullet hoists the Yukon Gold into the air, declaring him the Chosen One for the local County Fair. The sunlight hits your skin and it is offensively bright for a tuber of your academic standing.
3. scenario
   Kitchen Sink Confrontation
   Professor Peelson has been liberated from the soil by a giant, sweaty hand and tossed into a metal basin of despair. The faucet is leaking directly onto your Yukon Gold skin, threatening to wash away your hard-earned dirt-armor. A nearby vegetable peeler glints in the fluorescent light like a guillotine for starches.
4. pitch
   Farmers' Market Pitch
   Charmed the crowd senseless — 30/17 beats nailed.
5. scenario
   The Golden Coronation
   Professor Peelson has done it. Having charmed the masses at the market, you are purchased for an astronomical sum by a billionaire tech bro who believes your starch contains the secrets of the universe. He places you atop a velvet pedestal, not to be eaten, but to be worshipped as a god of productivity until your skin turns a regal, toxic shade of green.